If there’s one thing I love about my roller coaster, tough, expensive, mentally challenging and physically draining master journey is..

how I get to re-connect with The Most Merciful, Most Kind.

It has been one veryyyyy long phase, it has been tiring, but it still is somewhat amazing too. I hope I will always, always remember to be grateful and to thank Allah SWT for even the littlest blessing because without this feeling of security that He is watching over me, I am nothing. There were days I really didn’t want to go on anymore, days I cried for hours and slept with tears streaming down my face, nights that felt too lonely, gloomy evenings, and hungry afternoons. But there were also beautiful days filled with kindness, good food, laughter, new knowledge and skills, iced chocolate, the sea, loving people and blissful feelings. So every time I feel down, I allow myself to cry. I would cry my heart out sometimes for no absolute reason. It does make me feel lighter. I do not believe in suppressing your emotions  so it would make you stronger, that is just a plain bs. Celebrate your feelings but remember, you must also realise there are more to life and more to you. You are important. Even if you feel differently, I promise there’s someone out there that loves you and would always cheer for you. The world can be harsh sometimes but the world can also be a kind place. We all have had that moment we wanted to shut ourselves from the world, its okay. Cry, take a deep breath and when you’re ready, open your window again. Feel the cool breeze touching your face, feel the sun lighting your skin, feel the love that is there for you.

You are loved. You are kind. You are meaningful. Remember that. 




The bruises are dark blue and green,

making silly shapes on your pale skin.

Your eyes are black and deep,

and your lips are dry,

It has been a while, has not it?

from the last time I heard you sang.

It was, I remember,

the most beautiful voice that echoed that Thursday night.

The stars on the sky were dancing to your tunes,

and I believed the moon did too.

You were dancing,

and glowing so bright,

I received a portion of your light too.

That was the night,

the night when you were happy.

I am sorry for not coming home too long I have missed lending you my shoulder.

I have not had the chance and I knew I should have made more efforts so I could be there when you fall.

But I am here now,

I am home.

You have not had the light shines on your skin and your then sparkling eyes have missed the sun.

I do not know what runs and keeps tangling in your head but let me–

let me help you untangle them,

even if it will take so long,

even if I get hurt too,

we will do it somehow,

the untangling of your tangled mind.

I do not know how you have became this broken,

but invite me–

invite me into your foreign kingdom,

and together,

we will plant flowers on your deserted island.

You have been drowning alone for so long,

so take my hand this time,

let us swim to the shore and breathe.

You are not alone, darling.

You are not and you will never be but please–

allow me in.

Together, you and I–

we will be, alright. Not amazing, but alright.

And that for me, is more than fine.