We are all a little broken, and that is okay.



al and me

Life is surely unpredictable. It is fast paced and always changing. You will meet so many people, significant or not. Their presence might or might not have any impact on your life. But I do believe that the friends we choose to keep have different range of colours that help to paint our life. Alone, we can be very dull sometimes. We might argue from time to time, but at the end of the day when we have to say our temporary good bye before seeing each other again, we should always say it with our hearts content. Without this person, without this friendship, your life might be different. We scold each other, but it is never with the intention to hurt. We would ask for forgiveness, and bid each other with smiles on our faces. We plan, and Allah plans. And He is the best of planner.

I pray only for goodness to come your way, Al. May He lift the sickness off from you, and may you come back stronger, healthier and much, much better. You didn’t plan for this because you’re already so close to finishing, but there’s a beauty in this too. Most probably, God is sending you home for a while because He knows, deep down, you really miss your family and they miss you too.

And when I am ill, it is [God] who cures me.”
(Ash-Shu’ara (The Poets: 26:80) (A supplication of Prophet Abraham)

[link here]




So this is the memory FB think I would like to remember..


Who would have thought, six years later I had to witness my dad taking his last breath. I was there, I was there when he collapsed on his hospital bed. I arrived with the medicated oil he requested over the phone just 30 minutes ago. He closed his eyes the moment I entered his room, and he never opens them again. I wiped the sweats on his forehead, I called out his name many, many times. I just wanted him to look at me one last time. I just wanted him to know I was there, I brought his oil, why isn’t he responding anymore.


And FB memory always comes up with all the conversations I had with aboh which I put as my statuses, there are many of them. It makes me miss him more, but it also brings a sense of comfort knowing when my dad was alive, I did take note of the things he’s said and done. We made a lot of phone calls to each other. I always hug him when I’m home. I always end the calls with I love youuu and would demand an ‘I love you too’ before he hangs up. I gave kisses on his cheeks three times every time I had to leave home again, and he counted them.

Today one kiss only? Usually three?’, and I would laugh before giving two more.

I couldn’t even look at jackfruit these days, because that was the fruit my dad always bought for me.

I bought your favourite fruit! In the fridge!,‘ and there were two packs of nangka.

‘I bought your favourite kuih!,’ and there were penerams on the table.

Kiah, for your birthday let’s go to chicken rice. I want to treat you nasi ayam this year!,’ and we went to TCRS in Aeon Big.

And every time I see durian crepe, I’d stare at it before walking away, not buying. Durian crepe (specifically at KLCC there, near Maybank) was his fav.

My dad was very garang, and I love him very, very much. See you on the other side, Boh!